This is the Sea

Swirling salt water laps at my feet

The west wind finds frailties

Of what remains from the sleep

Greyness spreads to the dark horizon

Herring gulls call me to the deep

This is the end

This is my friend

This is the sea

Memories meander around what happened before

Questions open wounds bleakly

Yet we all know the score

Emptiness echoes as hope once evades

Waves they now crash upon the shore

This is the end

This is my friend

This is the sea

The unplanned journey

I began this writing/blogging lark about two years ago. Okay I know I earned my living writing for 28 years prior to that, but this was different… this was for me!

Initially the writing was a form of therapy following my breakdown in June 2013. The script was about significant events in my life and putting it down in the written word was certainly cathartic. But then it started to grow like Topsy, and within no time at all I was writing my first children/teen novel (16 chapters done and about 10 to go), rebooting loads of my newspaper investigations, top of the head political opinion pieces and spontaneously over 100 songs and poems – the first 60 of which were published in my book The Hill – Songs and Poems of Darkness and Light.

But I couldn’t have achieved any of this without the constant encouragement of my family and four brilliant friends, who often without warning would tell me how much they enjoyed what I was writing and encouraged me to write more.

Over the past two years their words and encouragement touched somewhere so deep, even when I wanted to throw it all away. These four friends don’t know each other, but they all know me and strangely each has on different occasions urged me to write my autobiography. To be frank, it is something which I have wanted to do for years, but the prospect has terrified me. But yesterday, holding on to their encouragement, I started the task and the first 2,000 words are now down!

It starts with a young boy being sexually abused in a dark woodland and will visit hell in its many forms over the ensuing 45 years. But it will also be uplifting and I will include amazing people and incredible occasions. I have no idea how long it will be or how long it will take me. I obviously need to get the balance right and it will probably need massive editing. It is my work in progress and the working title is: Scorpions, Soul Mates and Substitutes.

Watch this space!

Coloured Memories

It was in another lifetime

When we walked together

On the moss

Hope it stretched before us

Beneath the Southern Cross

Blue, the sky explodes above you

Green, the leaves they dapple free

Brown, the earth beneath our feet

Black, the colour of the mud

It was in another lifetime

When we talked together

In the woods

Laughter it sang so sweetly

The wine it tasted good

Blue, the sky explodes above you

Green, the leaves they dapple free

Brown, the earth beneath our feet

Black, the colour of the mud

It was in another lifetime

When we danced together

On the green

Our feet moved so swiftly

Your beauty could be seen

Blue, the sky explodes above you

Green, the leaves they dapple free

Brown, the earth beneath our feet

Black, the colour of the mud

It was in another lifetime

When we drank together

In the yard

Words they flowed so freely

Written upon a card

Blue, the sky explodes above you

Green, the leaves they dapple free

Brown, the earth beneath our feet

Black, the colour of the mud

It was in another lifetime

When we laughed together

By the lake

I told you that I loved you

Was that my last mistake?

Blue, the sky explodes above you

Green, the leaves they dapple free

Brown, the earth beneath our feet

Black, the colour of the mud

Shades of Abandoned Love

I can feel your hand upon my knee

Deceived once more by the clown inside of me

My head tells me it’s time to make a change

But my heart is screaming I need you, something strange

Love was found

Rekindled

And then lost

Sitting here trying to count

The cost

Of an abandoned love

Everybody’s wearing a disguise

To hide what they’ve got left behind their eyes

But me, I can’t cover what I am

Wherever the spirits go I’ll just follow them

Love was found

Rekindled

And then lost

Sitting here trying to count

The cost

Of an abandoned love

I’ve given up the game, I’ve got to leave

The pot of gold is only make-believe

The treasure can’t be found by men who search

Whose gods are dead and buried deep within the church

Love was found

Rekindled

And then lost

Sitting here trying to count

The cost

Of an abandoned love

We sat in an imaginary place and we kissed

I asked you please to cross me off your list

You looked at me with a smile upon your lips

Your heart it heaved towards me in another script

Love was found

Rekindled

And then lost

Sitting here trying to count

The cost

Of an abandoned love

One more time at midnight, near the wall

Put aside your unspoken fears and your shawl

Please come out from the dark room where you sit?

Let me feel your love once more before you abandon it

Love was found

Rekindled

And then lost

Sitting here trying to count

The cost

Of an abandoned love

Lonely Road

I am on a lonely road

Travelling

Deep between the hedges

Trudging the country lane

Counting the crows

Cawing across the fields Travelling Looking for something

But nothing yields

The clouds spin the same

From the sky I left behind

In the bustle of the city

Just travelling

So I can I forget about you

And forget about me

Life is something new

Travelling

On a lonely road

Looking for a key

Looking for something

To set me free

Travelling

I want to leave behind the jealousy

Leave behind the hate Leave behind my love

Hang it on your gate

And the greed

Is now unravelling

Laughter fills the air

Music fills my head

This moment is to share

For you and for me

It keeps me so well fed

Of everything that could be

Just travelling

Thinking of your face

Your gentleness

And your grace

It makes me feel so free

Travelling

 

Time and Place

This is the time I’ve been waiting for too long

This is the corner where I’ll sit and sing my song

This is the music that keeps me on my feet

This is the border, this is a place we used to meet

This is the avenue of a life devoid of any fear

This is a boardwalk between memory and cheer

This is the Instagram of a face that once smiled

This is the hope, this is the way, this is the child

These are the dying embers of the autumn of my life

These are my children, my cat and cherished wife

This is the loneliness that comes from too much pain

This is the heartache when there’s nothing left to gain

This is the moment this is the vision and this is the sky

This is the battlefield where my dreams all live and die

This is the day, the minute, the second and the end

This is the place where I’ll say farewell my friend

These are my words, my thoughts and last prayers

These are the memories I’ll leave upon your stairs