They’ll pinch themselves and squeal and know that it’s for real… the hour when the ship comes in

IT is still November, but 2013 truly has been one hell of a rollercoaster year for myself, my family and my friends.

But today is one of the best days of the year.

My very good friend and work colleague Craig and his partner Crystal are officially no longer illegal immigrants.

The good news came through just a few hours ago after one of the biggest blunders by the UK immigration agency imaginable.

And I am so delighted for them both.

Craig’s Canadian wife Crystal posted this on Facebook just a few minutes ago: “Finally! After a year and a half of holding my passport and marriage certificate for ransom the UKBA/ Home Office has officially withdrawn their decision to deny me leave to remain. This morning I picked up my passport and marriage certificate along with a new visa and permission granted for leave to remain! Mommy I am coming home!”

Rather than confuse anyone reading this blog anymore, I attach an article I published on the front page of my newspaper (The Denbighshire Free Press) early in March this year… it tells the background. The story was immediately picked up by British national newspapers and magazines and within a week was international:

A SERIES of bureaucratic blunders by the Home Office mean Free Press photographer Craig Colville could be forced to leave the UK if he wants to continue to live with his wife.
This is despite the fact he has a Welsh mother and English father, he was born and went to school in St Asaph, raised near Talacre and now lives in Chester.
The 31-year-old met his now wife Crystal, a Canadian citizen, in 2006 when they were both working on a cruise ship.
After a long distance relationship she moved to the UK on a Youth Mobility Visa in October 2010 and the pair were married at a ceremony in Llangollen last July.
Once they became husband and wife, Crystal, 29, applied to the Home Office for “an extension of stay as the husband, wife, civil partner or unmarried/same-sex partner of a permanent resident”.
But Home Secretary Theresa May refused the application, saying Crystal could not stay in the UK because Welsh husband Craig “does not hold settled status, is not a British citizen and is not a person with refugee leave/humanitarian protection”.
“My wife and I are extremely upset by how poorly the Home Office have treated our case,” said Craig, a former Ysgol Glan Clwyd student.
“It should have been very straightforward as I am a British citizen.”
Craig and Crystal were told if they were not happy with the decision the only thing they could do was to lodge an official appeal.
But in yet another blunder by the UK Border Agency (UKBA), a section of the Home Office, they have now been told their application for appeal has been refused because it was not in on time.
The couple were told in their original refusal letter, sent on February 4, they had until February 18 (10 working days) to appeal. But on March 7 they received a letter saying their notice of appeal had been refused.
Someone at the UKBA had confused 10 days with 10 working days and the application should have been received by February 14.
“When we called to query this we were told the only thing we could do was to lodge an official appeal against the decision not to allow us to appeal,” said Craig.
“It’s getting beyond a joke now, I dread to think how much this is going to cost the tax payer to sort out.”
Crystal has been told if her appeal is unsuccessful she “must leave the United Kingdom as soon as possible” when her present visa runs out.
The letter from the UKBA adds: “If you do not leave the United Kingdom voluntarily, you will be removed to Canada.”
Craig added: “I do not have the right to live or work in Canada and my worst fear is that we would be separated again, ruining everything we have worked towards.”
Ironically Craig’s identical twin brother Scott, also born in St Asaph, has not been told by Britain’s border guards that he is not a British citizen.
Equally ironic is that Crystal’s grandparents were a Geordie and a Scot. If she had foreseen the current Home Office blunders, Crystal could have qualified for full British citizenship under an ancestry visa.
Craig, who now lives in Chester with Crystal, has contacted Chester MP Stephen Mosley about the matter.
A spokesman for his office said Mr Mosley was supporting the couple and had contacted the UKBA, but that he could not comment further whilst the issue was ongoing.
At the time of going to press Craig and Crystal received a further letter from the Home Office in which they underlined the fact that the couple would have to continue their life outside the UK.
A UKBA spokesman said: “We are writing to Ms Levy (Crystal) this week regarding her application. It would be inappropriate to comment further until she has received the latest correspondence.”

Now everything is as it should have been in the first place.

Craig and Crystal can live and work as a normal married couple and at last Crystal can pop home to Canada to visit her mum and brother without fear of not being allowed back into the UK and her loving husband.

A very good day indeed.

Most of the time my head is on straight

WELL I guess it had to come…

I had been blogging for 35 days and published 29 posts when hit it me… why am I doing this?

I guess the answer is obvious, it is because I need to. I need to say so much which I have kept bottled up for far too long, and sometimes it becomes like a stream of consciousness explosion.

But as most bloggers – and indeed writers – know, it is feckin’ lonely at times. Like writing into a vacuum which steals words and sucks out the soul.

So last night I had my first crisis of confidence and was slipping back to that desolate spot I found myself in last June. I told my friends via email and Facebook that I would be pulling the plug on my blog and stopping the daily writing. I went to bed feeling exhausted, and aside from dreaming about the ghost girl in our kitchen, I slept like the dead.

I woke this morning at 6.40 to my wife Gill shaking me and telling me, with tears in her eyes: “You are not stopping your blog. Loads of people like it and read it. I read it and if you are writing it for me alone you must continue. Just look at the comments on Facebook.”

I hugged her close and with sleepy eyes started reading a raft of Facebook comments.

That is when I started to cry.

All the comments were from friends, family and work colleagues – past and present – telling me to carry on, as they actually enjoy reading my stuff! They are all amazing. I think the ones which touched me most were from fellow journalists whom I admire as writers and editors themselves.

Then I noticed four private messages on Facebook. Each said the same. One in particular really touched me, from someone I have not seen in two years. Part of it read: “Hi Nic, how very random of me sending u a pm! Just read your status and don’t feel eloquent or brave enough to comment on your post but want you to know that I got so engrossed one day reading one part of your blog my little girl managed to get in far more Peppa time than I would normally allow. I was truly moved by your writing. Don’t give up… I would love to read more if I get the chance!”

Then came emails and text messages.

One arrived just a minute ago as I write this piece. It is from a very dear friend, who I see far too rarely and who has endured life experiences similar to my own. Her text was unexpected, full of love and life affirming. She ended it with the words: “You have brought a lot of happiness into people’s lives and that is what defines you the most, my dear, dear friend.”

Yep, I cried again.

So now have the kick up the pants I needed and continue where I left off. Suddenly friends have made me feel good about myself and made me realise that the vacuum is all in my mind!

Thank you everyone for everything.

But I finish this posting with something else that inspired me in that first hour of the day. Beth Orton shared on Facebook a wonderful eulogy to Lou Reed, written by one of my other heroes, Patti Smith.

The music and words of Lou Reed have been with me since I was 16, but the genius and poetry of Patti came far too late. It was only when she returned to recording and gigging in the mid 1990s – after an eight year hiatus – that I really discovered her.

Patti knows what pain feels like.

In 1989, her best friend Robert Mapplethorpe died of an Aids-related illness. The American photographer shot the iconic image of Smith on the front cover of her seminal album Horses. In late 1994, her husband, Fred ‘Sonic’ Smith, once a guitarist with pre-punk rockers MC5, died of a heart attack, leaving her with two young children. Less than a month later, her brother Todd died suddenly. Small wonder her return album in 1996 was titled Gone Again.

Her words move like few others I have ever read or heard.

Patti’s eulogy to Lou can be found here: http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2013/11/11/131111ta_talk_smith

Read it if you get a chance.

Meantime I aim to dedicate my next few blog postings to writers I admire.

 

Love minus zero / No Limit

SOME of my blog postings are off-the-cuff and I guess this is the first of such posts.

The replies, text messages, emails and phone call responses to my recent post When You Gonna Wake Up and Strengthen the Things that Remain made me lose two nights’ sleep. The insomnia was not for any negative reasons, but rather a warm feeling of love and friendship.

You see, it is easy to know who you love and who loves you… my wife, my children and my mother come instantly to mind. But it is less easy to appreciate who are true friends.

I guess that due to my inherent OCD nature I have always demanded loyalty from friends and in return given my entire loyalty to them, through good times and bad. Some, who I regarded as true close friends have let me down and so were jettisoned from my world, something I now regret, because we are all human and all make mistakes – me more than most!

Google the word ‘friendship’ and a myriad of advice is offered from all corners of the world:

Friendship is a type of relationship between two people who care about each other. But such a dry definition doesn’t do the concept of friendship justice. Consider these examples: A friend is the first person you want to call when you hear good news. A friend remembers that you don’t like pickles on your sandwich. A friend will accompany you on the most boring of errands and make them seem fun.

In other words, friendship is wonderful. But that’s not to say friendship is easy, though. It demands time and effort, and it requires that people put someone other than themselves first sometimes. But in exchange for that work, a friend can provide an immense amount of support and comfort in good times and in bad.

Many qualities are necessary for a good friendship, including honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty and unconditional acceptance. A friendship should make both people in the relationship happy; both people should have fun when they spend time together. To be perfectly frank, that’s a tall order. Human beings can clash very easily, which is why it’s hard for some people to maintain many friendships. It’s possible that friendship can exist between two people at one stage of life, but life changes and personal growth may make friendship impossible at another stage.

Very true.

So my best friend is also the woman I love, my wife Gill.

For longevity I also count at least two friends from school, Alex (who has known me since I was 12) and Graham, who has been a best mate since we were in sixth form together, and with whom I share many life similarities.

Then I am blessed to count upon two more friends from my university days, Jo and Judith. In Jo’s case I feel a close affinity even though we have not seen each other in 35 years. So Facebook has been our saviour! Judith and I have remained friends even after both were battered blue by life experiences, but have been there for each other.

Next are the friends I picked up along the way at work and at home and who are still there even after 15, 20 or 30 years: a former student Andy, ex work colleagues Jane, Karen, Debs, Stephen and Peter. My son’s child-minder and her husband Catheryn and Colin; friends through thick and thin Judith and Lawson; and Sue who was one of my first visitors when I had cancer even though she was phobic about hospitals!

And finally there are those I should classify as new friends – people who have only been in my life a few years, but mean so much: the wonderful Angela and Alex, the rock solid and caring Caryn and her son Sam (by chance my son’s best friend), my best friend at work Craig, my almost surrogate daughter Helen, who was my witness at my wedding to Gill; the amazing and lovely reporting duo Adele and Natalie; my former boss who is still there to offer advice Graham; the lovely Hannah and Karen, whose words in the past few days have had me in tears; the gorgeous Sue, two friends and among the best journalists I have worked with Sophie and Rachel and the pug loving Yvonne, again whose words have given me great comfort.

A man is known by his friends and not his enemies and I am a very lucky man.

All of the above have been there when my life was at the bottom and to them I can only give my love and thanks and the knowledge that I will never forget any of you.

Thank you.