Don’t Look Away

Sionnan I love you dearly

Don’t look away

I never left you

Sionnan I long to see you

Don’t look away

I am still waiting

Sionnan I long to hear you

Don’t look away

I still need you

Sionnan I long to hold you

Don’t look away

I am not leaving

Sionnan I long to kiss you

Don’t look away

I am not running

Sionnan I long to sense you

Don’t look away

I am still pleading

Sionnan I will not leave you

Don’t look away

This is your father

 

Autumn Memories

It’s funny you know when I sit down

And think about what we once had

About the friends I used to know

What happened, where did they all go?

I can still remember those happy hours

Drinking and talking onto your shoulder

We thought we could change the world

And never thought we would get any older

 

Now the autumn rust

And orange dust

Sweeps away the memories

Of teenage dreams

Beyond life’s seams

And October rain

Drowns all of the treacheries

 

There was the evenings when we would kiss

We’d bring it on home with an old LP

Played low in moments of bliss

What happened to the girl that I loved?

Tell me, did I break her heart in the rain

Did she live, and did her love grow colder

Did she ever think on my face again

And I never thought we would get any older

 

The autumn rust

And orange dust

Sweeps away the memories

Of teenage dreams

Beyond life’s seams

And October rain

Drowns all of the treacheries

 

You know my mind gets tired

When I think back on all of the things we did

I wonder if I’ll remember these precious things

As more years pass me by?

These memories will become dimmer

And old photos are stuffed in a dusty folder

I’ll point the finger back in time

And I never thought we would get any older

 

The autumn rust

And orange dust

Sweeps away the memories

Of teenage dreams

Beyond life’s seams

And October rain

Drowns all of the treacheries

 

Sweet Jayne

Sweeping back the years

To when we were still kids

The landscape lay

Before us

Exploding dustbin lids

The hope of 20 summers

The embrace of time to come

The warmth of July nights

The beat of life’s lone drum

Sweet Jayne

 

Nostalgia lights the darkness

I am here and you are gone

The reality lies

Before me

Finding my way home

The chill of 60 winters

The memory of time gone by

The scent of damp November

The emptiness of the sky

Sweet Jayne

 

Rainbow of Friends #2

Sexuality should not define us

But society says it must

Too many friends within the closet

Their lives oxidised to rust

 

In my life of stolen moments

Good friends have all been gay

At first it was quite scary

In a world of bleak dismay

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

Brave Andy was the first to dance

Back in queer bashing seventy eight

He came out to his parents

And faced their irrational hate

 

Cast out by those he loved

Alone inside his motor car

His body found next morning

Killed by a prejudicial scar

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

Hiding in the closet Vicki, Jane and Hazel

Also loved to dance

They would boogie in a ghetto club

Whenever they had a chance

 

My house mate Trevor was the next to hide

A secret he was afraid to share

His father was an old coal miner

His black views were just unfair

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

But time does not stand still

Liz and Nadine they were so brave

Together raised their own son Thomas

With parental care and love to save

 

Some years along the road

My son’s friend talked of his two mums

The most wonderful of natural parents

They made prejudice seem quite numb

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

The next to dance was close to home

My young nephew’s so camp and gay

It was no lifestyle choice, you faggot haters

So what’s that I hear you say?

 

Now this dance is almost over

But for Darren it was done too soon

He lived and loved with vigour

And now lies under a Mexican moon

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

My Perfect Star

I was driving my son to school one day

When I spotted six wild deer

Skipping ‘cross the meadow, in the mist they were so clear

In the music of my senses

It was the strings of my guitar

Oh Nathan, you are my perfect star

 

From the day that you arrived kicking

You were bundle so very small

Now 14 years have passed and you’ve grown so tall

My life has become a travelogue

Of adventures from afar

Oh Nathan, you are my perfect star

 

People’ll tell you where they’ve gone

They’ll tell you where to go

But till you get there yourself you’ll never really know

Where some have found their paradise

Other’s just go too far

Oh Nathan, you are my perfect star

 

Now you’ve kicked your way to glory

With determination and some skill

You’re the mirror of my childhood, still with time to kill

At school you are a scholar

The payment for my scar

Oh Nathan, you are my perfect star

 

As the future burns so bright

The deer have now skipped away

The mist envelops the road ahead, turning light to grey

I think of all the things I’ve done

And how we’ve come so far

Oh Nathan, you are my perfect star

Colours of life

By these sandstone walls

My life unfolds

In colours of love

The white May blossom

The lilac hops

The pink cherry flowers

Under a blue sky above

 

By the fields of rape

My life unfolds

In colours of pain

The black crow flies

The grey clouds

The poppies red

Upon opened sacks of grain

 

By the wind whispered Wold

My life unfolds

In colours of life

The azure horizon

The creamy cotton

The emerald field

Its beauty cuts like a knife

 

Songs and Poems for my Lost Daughters

Darling Great Queen

Blonde and blue-eyed

My darling great queen

Your gentleness

Shines out before you

I made a life promise

The day you were born

That never could I

Dare to leave you

 

Clever and caring

My darling great queen

Your gentleness

Shines out before you

I watched as you grew

And started at school

I never thought once

I would lose you

 

Learning and loving

My darling great queen

Your gentleness

Shines out before you

Ten years now have passed

My heart beats too fast

To think of that life

Gone without you

 

Searching and seeking

My darling great queen

Your gentleness

Shines out before you

A grey life lived on the rim

Because my love never dims

A broken heart reaches

Northwards to you

 

 

Time is an Ocean

Windward…

The spring day dawned warm

Wrapped in riggings of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

Into my strong arms you were born

Wrapped in sheets of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

I cuddled your tiny body close

Wrapped in a spinnaker of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

My promise to you was bonded

Wrapped in a stay sail of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

I watched you grow in beauty

Wrapped in a helm of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

Your first word was ‘daddy’

Wrapped in a lateen of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

We watched you laugh and play

Wrapped a genoa of love

Hope bloomed eternal

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

Leeward…

You were snatched from my arms

Wrapped in a beam of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

Tears flowed and lies were told

Wrapped in shrouds of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

They blew out my candle

Wrapped in a foremast of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

They could not blow out the fire

Wrapped in a main sail of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

Cos then the flame began to catch

Wrapped in a halyard of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

The wind whispers words of truth

Wrapped in a luff of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

Now you must sail your way home

Wrapped in a lashing of love

My hope never dimmed

On an ocean of time

All those years ago

 

 

Don’t Look Away

Sionnan I love you dearly

Don’t look away

I never left you

Sionnan I long to see you

Don’t look away

I am still waiting

Sionnan I long to hear you

Don’t look away

I still need you

Sionnan I long to hold you

Don’t look away

I am not leaving

Sionnan I long to kiss you

Don’t look away

I am not running

Sionnan I long to sense you

Don’t look away

I am still pleading

Sionnan I will not leave you

Don’t look away

This is your father

 

 

Shannon

Your blue eyes linger

With your impish grin

Your dark hair wavers

The joy that’s within

5,000 days is too long my daughter

Much too long

So please come home

At the end of this song

 

You play in the meadow

With sun in your hair

You shout at your sister

With barely a care

5,000 days is too long my daughter

Much too long

So please come home

At the end of this song

 

Your voice resonates

In the caverns of my mind

Your tears wash away

What was left behind

5,000 days is too long my daughter

Much too long

So please come home

At the end of this song

 

You run over the sand

Your buckets to fill

We sit and watch blithely

From the side of the hill

5,000 days is too long my daughter

Much too long

So please come home

At the end of this song

 

We walk the old wall

Along by the farm

You scream with laughter

Safe in my arm

5,000 days is too long my daughter

Much too long

So please come home

At the end of this song

 

Now the years have passed

The memories remain

It’s time to come home

It’s the end of the game

5,000 days is too long my daughter

Much too long

So please come home

It’s the end of the song

 

 

Rhiannon

In this garden of weeds

Your flower still blooms

Like a memory of a time gone by

I can still hear your voice hang in the trees

And see your face in the clouds in the sky

 

Rhiannon, Rhiannon

My beautiful child

Named after a song

In times so wild

Dance in the meadows

And sing by the stream

Here in my heart

Where you’ve always been

 

In this room full of wonder

Your shadow still slips

Like a memory of something so fine

I can still hear your laughter rolling like thunder

And feel your heart beating next to mine

 

Rhiannon, Rhiannon

My beautiful child

Named after a song

In times so wild

Dance in the meadows

And sing by the stream

Here in my heart

Where you’ve always been

 

In this world full of grace

Your truth is an arrow

Like a memory of what used to be

I can still feel the touch of your hand on my face

And sense your spirit in the raging sea

 

Rhiannon, Rhiannon

My beautiful child

Named after a song

In times so wild

Dance in the meadows

And sing by the stream

Here in my heart

Where you’ve always been

Precious memories of my beautiful daughters Rhia and Shannon captured in this single YouTube video:

https://youtu.be/gd21-pF0GtI

 

The Moving Finger Writes

On the windswept dales of limestone Karst

See Emily play

A romantic farce

Heathcliff searches

For a Wuthering lust

The window glass shatters

Life returns to dust

But true love never dies

As the darkness fades to light

My soul is yours to keep

Bill Burroughs is writing tonight

 

My love she sleeps in Cham

In a bed of Norwegian wood

My heart is buried somewhere

Under Dylan’s old Milkwood

 

On the melting tarmac of Kerouac’s road

The sun now rises

On Sal’s paradise load

Dean Moriarty sleeps

His heart trips a beat

Life it still creeps

But true love never dies

As the darkness fades to light

My soul is yours to keep

Bill Burroughs is writing tonight

 

My love she sleeps in Cham

In a bed of Norwegian wood

My heart is buried somewhere

Under Dylan’s old Milkwood

 

On the frozen streets of forgotten Oslo

Knut Hamsun he tries to write

But words are just a show

As the hunger eats within

From Kafka, Joyce and Camus

His life is full of sin

But true love never dies

As the darkness fades to light

My soul is yours to keep

Bill Burroughs is writing tonight

 

My love she sleeps in Cham

In a bed of Norwegian wood

My heart is buried somewhere

Under Dylan’s old Milkwood

 

On Woody’s slow railroad train

The hobos beg for dimes

His broken voice remains

In another singer’s song

His tune plays ever onward

Bound for glory all along

But true love never dies

As the darkness fades to light

My soul is yours to keep

Bill Burroughs is writing tonight

 

Rainbow of Friends

Sexuality should not define us

But society says it must

Too many friends within the closet

Their lives oxidised to rust

 

In my life of stolen moments

Good friends have all been gay

At first it was quite scary

In a world of bleak dismay

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

Brave Andy was the first to dance

Back in queer bashing seventy eight

He came out to his parents

And faced their irrational hate

 

Cast out by those he loved

Alone inside his motor car

His body found next morning

Killed by a prejudicial scar

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

Hiding in the closet Vicki, Jane and Hazel

Also loved to dance

They would boogie in a ghetto club

Whenever they had a chance

 

My house mate Trevor was the next to hide

His secret he was afraid to share

His father was an old coal miner

His black views were just unfair

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

But time does not stand still

Liz and Nadine they were so brave

Together raised their wee son Thomas

With parent’s care and love to save

 

Some years along the road

My son’s friend talked of his two mums

The most wonderful of natural parents

They made prejudice seem quite numb

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme

 

The next to dance was close to home

My young nephew’s so camp and gay

It was no lifestyle choice, you faggot haters

So what’s that I hear you say?

 

Now this dance is almost over

But for Darren it was done too soon

He lived and loved with vigour

But now lies under a Mexican moon

 

Come out now my friends and dance

Your life it is supreme

Don’t hide your love away

Behind some bitter Fascist scheme