Songs and Poems of Love (2013-2015)
By Nic Outterside
I have always felt huge outpourings of love for my fellow human beings. Too often my love has been misplaced or miscarried, but that doesn’t mean it was not true.
Because love is always true.
So here is a collection of songs and poems of love and unrequited love for friends, soul mates, partners and lovers and my dear children.
I think they capture many moods and hope you enjoy some of them.
A Handful of Rain
I was drifting in from nowhere on a prayer and kiss
Life passed me by, 34 years I had missed
So how did this happen and when did she come?
Like Louise in the attic of Dylan’s radio hum
A handful of rain, a handful of rain
Tempting me to defy it
My scruff bag sweetheart, you don’t know how to buy it
She came from nowhere and she carried my name
Talking to a banana in her wild childhood game
Mercurial mouth and missionary times
Lost in a dream of music and rhymes
A handful of rain, a handful of rain
Tempting me to defy it
My scruff bag sweetheart, you don’t know how to buy it
She captured my heart by words in the mist
Still waiting in line for her geranium kiss
Floating ‘cross the airwaves from time gone by
Tracing blood on blood to the fog on the Tyne
A handful of rain, a handful of rain
Tempting me to defy it
My scruff bag sweetheart, you don’t know how to buy it
Insomniac cat now dancing on her bed
Sixty miles away morning sky’s turning red
Sleepless in Seattle ghostly figures at my door
And words that trip unconscious from phone to the floor
A handful of rain, a handful of rain
Tempting me to defy it
My scruff bag sweetheart, you don’t know how to buy it
She holds my hand in a dream undercover
Tracing Patti and Frederick asleep she’s my lover
Under a southern cross she casts the years unspent
Matching I for eye for a back broken and bent
A handful of rain, a handful of rain
Tempting me to defy it
My scruff bag sweetheart, you don’t know how to buy it
So how did we meet and where do we go?
On a boat on a river we meander and flow
But my darling you have me for time to come
I know I have found you and found my home
A handful of rain, a handful of rain
Tempting me to defy it
My scruff bag sweetheart, together we try it
First Born
You were my first born
My blue-eyed son
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
You were my true north
Son of my right hand
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
You were my first joy
Son of the South
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
You were my own pride
Youngest of Jacob
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
You were my rock
Son of my sorrow
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
You were my future
Love of my soul
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
How did I wrong you?
Brave son of my loins
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
You daddy is calling
Cross the green pasture
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
So come home quickly
Time it has passed
A lifetime ago
Where are you now?
Darling Great Queen
Blonde and blue-eyed
My darling great queen
Your gentleness
Shines out before you
I made a life promise
The day you were born
That never could I
Dare to leave you
Clever and caring
My darling great queen
Your gentleness
Shines out before you
I watched as you grew
And started at school
I never thought once
I would lose you
Learning and loving
My darling great queen
Your gentleness
Shines out before you
Ten years now have passed
My heart beats too fast
To think of that life
Gone without you
Searching and seeking
My darling great queen
Your gentleness
Shines out before you
A grey life lived on the rim
Because my love never dims
A broken heart reaches
Northwards to you
Time is an Ocean
Windward…
The spring day dawned warm
Wrapped in riggings of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Into my strong arms you were born
Wrapped in sheets of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
I cuddled your tiny body close
Wrapped in a spinnaker of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
My promise to you was bonded
Wrapped in a stay sail of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
I watched you grow in beauty
Wrapped in a helm of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Your first word was ‘daddy’
Wrapped in a lateen of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
We watched you laugh and play
Wrapped a genoa of love
Hope bloomed eternal
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Leeward…
You were snatched from my arms
Wrapped in a beam of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Tears flowed and lies were told
Wrapped in shrouds of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
They blew out my candle
Wrapped in a foremast of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
They could not blow out the fire
Wrapped in a main sail of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Cos then the flame began to catch
Wrapped in a halyard of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
The wind whispers words of truth
Wrapped in a luff of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Now you must sail your way home
Wrapped in a lashing of love
My hope never dimmed
On an ocean of time
All those years ago
Don’t Look Away
Sionnan I love you dearly
Don’t look away
I never left you
Sionnan I long to see you
Don’t look away
I am still waiting
Sionnan I long to hear you
Don’t look away
I still need you
Sionnan I long to hold you
Don’t look away
I am not leaving
Sionnan I long to kiss you
Don’t look away
I am not running
Sionnan I long to sense you
Don’t look away
I am still pleading
Sionnan I will not leave you
Don’t look away
This is your father
Shannon
Your blue eyes linger
With your impish grin
Your dark hair wavers
The joy that’s within
5,000 days is too long my daughter
Much too long
So please come home
At the end of this song
You play in the meadow
With sun in your hair
You shout at your sister
With barely a care
5,000 days is too long my daughter
Much too long
So please come home
At the end of this song
Your voice resonates
In the caverns of my mind
Your tears wash away
What was left behind
5,000 days is too long my daughter
Much too long
So please come home
At the end of this song
You run over the sand
Your buckets to fill
We sit and watch blithely
From the side of the hill
5,000 days is too long my daughter
Much too long
So please come home
At the end of this song
We walk the old wall
Along by the farm
You scream with laughter
Safe in my arm
5,000 days is too long my daughter
Much too long
So please come home
At the end of this song
Now 11 years have passed
The memories remain
It’s time to come home
It’s the end of the game
5,000 days is too long my daughter
Much too long
So please come home
It’s the end of the song
Future Comfort
Sweet gentleness
Your name is life
It surrounds my being
Cuts like a knife
Cascades and unfolds
In all that I do
The love that surrounds me
And the friendships too
I watch the rain fall
And the winter does grip
But your warmth it envelops
So nothing will slip
Risk and perspective
Valour and pain
Is marked here forever
Though death does remain
So fear not my love
As we walk up that road
Stronger than ever
Let me carry your load
And we come now full circle
To the top of the hill
And hold hands together
Brave blood to spill
For love is not blinded
And neither is truth
As my tale unfolds gently
Our own fountain of youth.
Stolen Moments
Torch song
You touch me like the wind
Sad vignette
It has a tale to tell
Cast iron ballad
You are my planet wave
Sweet goddess
Your light it shows the way
Dylan’s night
The air it is so cold
Willow’s end
Struggling to the ledge
Dark beauty
Is buried in your past
Sweet goddess
Your light it shows the way
Dear Hazel
One lost moment of bliss
Easy breath
The phantoms of my youth
Forever young
A heart so full of joy
Sweet goddess
Your light it shows the way
Suicide Road
Now a song of freedom
Fallen angel
Rests under your wing
Frozen lake
Beautiful beyond words
Sweet goddess
Your light it shows the way
Turning tide
I love you more than blood
Our tune
We play it on this Earth
Breaking waves
The torch is lit again
Sweet goddess
Your light it shows the way
Love Minus Zero
Scarred and scared
Battle weary and blind
To a life so shattered
And hope left behind
You came from the stars
And opened my eyes
You healed my scars
And softened my cries
I give you my heart
My life you do fill
We won’t tear apart
My wondrous Gill
Comfort Zone
She cuddles up beside me
The log fire is burning bright
I whisper that I love her
We’re settled for the night
The music plays quite softly
Our glasses both half full
Her head it rests upon me
Warmed by old lamb’s wool
Love is
Love is
Love is
Love is just a pretext for a better place to be
A fox slides through the hedgerow
The owl hoots a new refrain
The wind it howls like thunder
And suggests a chance of rain
The new moon casts mad shadows
Across the placid pond
The air it is enchanted
From the doorstep and beyond
Love is
Love is
Love is
Love is just a pretext for a better place to be
A half familiar key change
A riff that sounds so blue
Guitar music fills the air
It was made for me and you
You searched for love eternal
Now tell me what you found
A passage of lost time
And we are homeward bound
Love is
Love is
Love is
Love is just a pretext for a better place to be
My wedding ring shone brightly
As I hit that final chord
It held our love so tightly
When the final lyric poured
Love is
Love is
Love is
Love is just a pretext for a better place to be
September Song
Boots and bottles and a telescope reel
No-one knows just how I feel
Sitting blindly by a Catherine Wheel
I open my arms to you
Write me a song to sing all day long
Catch me a tune to howl at the moon
Watch me waltz on a silver spoon
I open my arms to you
My golden daughter does what she oughta
Reading medical books with whisky and water
The words get longer but never shorter
I open my arms to you
The breakdown came the breakdown went
Forty-four years they were paid and spent
I’ll pack up my shoes and buy a new tent
I open my arms to you
The sun still warms the September air
The grass is green and the day is fair
I look at my life with barely a care
I open my arms to you
The fox it will run and the bat does fly
The poacher stares at the empty sky
Time it passes with no reason to cry
I open my arms to you
A New Clear Star
I was driving my son to school one day
When I spotted six wild deer
Skipping ‘cross the meadow, in the mist they were so clear
In the hexagram of my senses
They were the strings of my guitar
Oh Nathan, you are my new clear star
From the day that you arrived kicking
You were a bundle so very small
Now 13 years have passed and you’ve grown so tall
My life has become a film score
Of adventures from afar
Oh Nathan, you are my new clear star
People’ll tell you where they’ve gone
They’ll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you’ll never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Others just go too far
Oh Nathan, you are my new clear star
You’ve kicked your way to glory
With determination and some skill
You’re the mirror of my childhood, still with time to kill
At school you are a scholar
The payment for my scar
Oh Nathan, you are my new clear star
As the future burns so bright
The deer have now skipped away
The mist envelops the road ahead, turning light to grey
I think of all the things I’ve done
And how we’ve come so far
Oh Nathan, you are my new clear star
Inter Stella Overdrive
A piper at the gates of dawn
Told me today a new star had been born
From the cosmos of darkening life
Your reality cuts like a sharpened knife
A 9/11 baby cast from my planetary shell
An echo from when the twin towers fell
You are alive, alive, alive
Rock on my Inter Stella Overdrive
Rhiannon
In this garden of weeds
Your flower still blooms
Like a memory of a time gone by
I can still hear your voice hang in the trees
And see your face in the clouds in the sky
Rhiannon, Rhiannon
My beautiful child
Named after a song
In times so wild
Dance in the meadows
And sing by the stream
Here in my heart
Where you’ve always been
In this room full of wonder
Your shadow still slips
Like a memory of something so fine
I can still hear your laughter rolling like thunder
And feel your heart beating next to mine
Rhiannon, Rhiannon
My beautiful child
Named after a song
In times so wild
Dance in the meadows
And sing by the stream
Here in my heart
Where you’ve always been
In this world full of grace
Your truth is an arrow
Like a memory of what used to be
I can still feel the touch of your hand on my face
And sense your spirit in the raging sea
Rhiannon, Rhiannon
My beautiful child
Named after a song
In times so wild
Dance in the meadows
And sing by the stream
Here in my heart
Where you’ve always been
Nothing is Sacred
The essence of love holds fast
When all about it crumbles
Runners racing to be last
In life’s oldest fought battle.
Scurrying to their mansions
To watch the tempest below
But nothing there is sacred
As they yield unto the foe.
But only my love holds fast
In an everlasting confusion
Bridging future with the past
Until only the good survive
And bleed upon the Earth
Where there only is one victor
But no-one shows his head
And drown their fear in laughter.
Song of hope
In my life of two thousand summers
I have no regrets
Or remorse
Would I have done some things differently?
Would I change some decisions?
Well, of course.
One life
One hope
One love
One spirit
Forever
For you
But we run this race only once
We become who we are
By our deeds
Our words make us human and vulnerable
And love opens our heart
Till it bleeds.
One life
One hope
One love
One spirit
Forever
For you
So look at your friends and your enemies
They are all human
Like you
They hate and they fear for their failures
And those that leave a mark
Are so few.
One life
One hope
One love
One spirit
Forever
For you
So let’s each make our lives individual
Loving and brave
From our soul
Reach out to our fellow human creatures
So their hopes and broken lives
Become whole.
One life
One hope
One love
One spirit
Forever
For you
Love Has Many Faces
Love has many faces
Of warmth
And lies
And lust
Love has many places
Of kisses
And hugs
And rust
Love has many chases
Of youth
And life
And trust
Love has many graces
Of tenderness
Hope
And must
Love has many cases
Of memories
Promises
And dust
Powdered Chalk and Diamonds
When I first saw you
Time stood still
Your hair
Your face
Your smile
Powdered chalk and diamonds
They shone in your eyes for a while
When I first met you
Time stood still
Your warmth
Your laugh
Your love
Powdered chalk and diamonds
An unexpected gift shared from above
When I married you
Time stood still
Your beauty
Your scent
Your touch
Powdered chalk and diamonds
Told the world I would always be your crutch
When I last saw you
Time stood still
Your hug
Your promise
Your need
Powdered chalk and diamonds
Help our lives to somehow succeed
Siren
Salt spray
The crashing waves
The sound of thunder
Can you hear it?
The ocean so deep
Your eyes shine
Your face, your smile
A vision shared to keep
I’ll keep it with mine
The siren of my dreams
I can never forget you
Old bathetic fool
I know that fate is cruel
I ought to forget it
Yes, I know it’s true
I’ve seen what love can do
But I don’t regret it
My voice chokes
I can no longer sing
I love you… but
I can see what’s happening
I must now admit it
Unrequited love
A tsunami from above
I have to accept that
Now within your coral sea
You swim so deep
And don’t need me
We’re both safer without it
Is that really the case?
If you were in my place
You never would doubt it
The mermaid of my dreams
I’ll never forget you
Can you hear the siren screams?
I’m glad that I met you
Old bathetic fool
Who has broken every rule
I tried to resist it
Though it’s all in vain
I’d do it all again
I’d give my world to you
Just to relive one minute
By your side
I have to admit it
As I fall in love
Your presence I breathe for
And I am not mistaken
So I think of when
And turn to sleep again
A lot was meant
But nothing was taken
Shades of Abandoned Love
I can feel your hand upon my knee
Deceived once more by the clown inside of me
My head tells me it’s time to make a change
But my heart is screaming I need you, something strange
Love was found
Rekindled
And then lost
Sitting here trying to count
The cost
Of an abandoned love
Everybody’s wearing a disguise
To hide what they’ve got left behind their eyes
But me, I can’t cover what I am
Wherever the spirits go I’ll just follow them
Love was found
Rekindled
And then lost
Sitting here trying to count
The cost
Of an abandoned love
I’ve given up the game, I’ve got to leave
The pot of gold is only make-believe
The treasure can’t be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and buried deep within the church
Love was found
Rekindled
And then lost
Sitting here trying to count
The cost
Of an abandoned love
We sat in an imaginary place and we kissed
I asked you please to cross me off your list
You looked at me with a smile upon your lips
Your heart it heaved towards me in another script
Love was found
Rekindled
And then lost
Sitting here trying to count
The cost
Of an abandoned love
One more time at midnight, near the wall
Put aside your unspoken fears and your shawl
Please come out from the dark room where you sit?
Let me feel your love once more before you abandon it
Love was found
Rekindled
And then lost
Sitting here trying to count
The cost
Of an abandoned love
Coloured Memories
It was in another lifetime
When we walked together
On the moss
Hope it stretched before us
Beneath the Southern Cross
Blue, the sky explodes above you
Green, the leaves they dapple free
Brown, the earth beneath our feet
Black, the colour of the mud
It was in another lifetime
When we talked together
In the woods
Laughter it sang so sweetly
The wine it tasted good
Blue, the sky explodes above you
Green, the leaves they dapple free
Brown, the earth beneath our feet
Black, the colour of the mud
It was in another lifetime
When we danced together
On the green
Our feet moved so swiftly
Your beauty could be seen
Blue, the sky explodes above you
Green, the leaves they dapple free
Brown, the earth beneath our feet
Black, the colour of the mud
It was in another lifetime
When we drank together
In the yard
Words they flowed so freely
Written upon a card
Blue, the sky explodes above you
Green, the leaves they dapple free
Brown, the earth beneath our feet
Black, the colour of the mud
It was in another lifetime
When we laughed together
By the lake
I told you that I loved you
Was that my last mistake?
Blue, the sky explodes above you
Green, the leaves they dapple free
Brown, the earth beneath our feet
Black, the colour of the mud
Opposites
Black after white
Peace after fight
Day after night
Holding onto the light
You came into my life
Like the cut of a knife
Then you entered my soul
And made me feel whole
Sun after rain
Love after pain
Loss after gain
Easing into my brain
You’re there in the dawn
On the wind you are born
Now you fill up my soul
And make me feel whole
Vision
Your face
Your voice
Your eyes
Your hair
I sense you here
And everywhere
The sun
The rain
The night
The day
My love for you
Does not decay
Redemption Song
I stand here amazed
Lost in your gaze
Emerging from hell
In a delicate shell
You came and you saw
Just like the law
I gave you my soul
And it made me feel whole
One life
One chance
One kiss
One dance
I asked for some time
Tasted your wine
Looking to the sky
As the comet passed by
You came and you saw
Just like the law
I gave you my soul
And it made me feel whole
One life
One chance
One kiss
One dance
You waltzed by the moon
At the dark of the noon
Standing so still
My glass yet to fill
You came and you saw
Just like the law
I gave you my soul
And it made me feel whole
One life
One chance
One kiss
One dance
Empathy
Beauty is a painted veil
Its colours are skin deep
Love is just a holy grail
Fading grey while you’re asleep
Don’t look away, I’ve drained the cup
And life’s race is all but run
Thinking of you when the sun comes up
To finish where I begun
Magic sparkles in the night
And laughter fills your dream
Hope dances in the morning light
Drifting away on an urgent stream
Don’t look away, I’ve drained the cup
And life’s race is all but run
Thinking of you when the sun comes up
To finish where I begun
Life it seems to crawl away
Drowned by rivers of blindness
Curtains shutter the brand new day
Floating on a sea of kindness
Don’t look away, I’ve drained the cup
And life’s race is all but run
Thinking of you when the sun comes up
To finish where I begun
Time lingers on the ocean’s edge
To where the soft winds blow
High up to that golden ledge
Looking back on what was left below
Don’t look away, I’ve drained the cup
And life’s race is all but run
Thinking of you when the sun comes up
To finish where I begun
Water’s Edge
By the water’s edge
The light fades
On the reeds
The chords
And sounds pervade
Across one thousand miles
Your dark eyes smile
By the water’s edge
The music dances
Laughter chances
As the day advances
The stillness evades
Across one thousand miles
Your dark eyes smile
By the water’s edge
The ragged dream
The broken seam
And flowing stream
The fish cascade
Across one thousand miles
Your dark eyes smile
By the water’s edge
Your beauty sings
On coloured wings
The sunset brings
Songs are played
Across one thousand miles
Your dark eyes smile
By the water’s edge
My heart it beats
As my soul competes
The stillness creeps
Into the rustic shade
Across one thousand miles
Your dark eyes smile
H Bomb
Come and sit here, you said
With that sparkle in your smile
Listen to the music we play
And linger for a while
H Bomb, H Bomb
You fell from heaven
And gave me new clear vision
With a love that lasts forever
Burning deep in our soul fission
You played those notes real deep
With precision and chords so blue
You held the bass line down
To elicit your choral hue
H Bomb, H Bomb
You fell from heaven
And gave me new clear vision
With a love that lasts forever
Burning deep in our soul fission
Your hair it held no dread for me
As it danced in pink and green
Your dark eyes they pierce me still
To the place that is unseen
H Bomb, H Bomb
You fell from heaven
And gave me new clear vision
With a love that lasts forever
Burning deep in our soul fission
You sipped deep at mother’s ruin
And sang songs into the night
We burned the evening oil
And laughed together until light
H Bomb, H Bomb
You fell from heaven
And gave me new clear vision
With a love that lasts forever
Burning deep in our soul fission
You stood in grey beside me
On that fateful wedding day
You held my hand so tightly
And made my heart feel gay
H Bomb, H Bomb
You fell from heaven
And gave me new clear vision
With a love that lasts forever
Burning deep in our soul fission
Oh Helen you are my soul mate
Your love it makes me glad
I’ll always be here for you
The daughter I never had
H Bomb, H Bomb
You fell from heaven
And gave me new clear vision
With a love that lasts forever
Burning deep in our soul fission
Just one night
On this lonely night
In the stardust of the fading light
You came to me in black and white
Embracing all my dreams
On the rising curve
Where the ways of life test every nerve
We won’t get anything we don’t deserve
Where we were born in time
You came, you saw
Just like the law
You bound up my heart
On a southern shore
I fell for you
And you for me
Our lives they were one
Now lost at sea
You are snow, I’m in the rain
You are beauty, I am plain
Oh my Gill, truer words
Have not been spoken or broken
In the hills of mystery
In the foggy web of destiny
You can have what’s left of me
Where we were born in time
Oh fragile flower
In an autumn shower
I watch you bloom
From my ivory tower
I’ll tend your needs
Pull the weeds
And fill our lives
With better deeds
Tortured Blues
And now that it is over
He could sit and count the cost
Wondering if she’d changed at all
And realised what they had lost
He was standing in the driving rain
Water filling up his shoe
She was lying on a snow white bed
Hair and face were all askew
Tortured by the blues
He found shelter in a small café
Writing hymns and poems on the wall
She slipped close by and cursed at him
They were both heading for a fall
Outside the booths were filling up
Minstrels and waiters in the queue
He stopped nearby and filled his cup
The last romantic of the few
Tortured by the blues
Another year had passed by slow
His young face was lined with pain
She lay wrecked in a juniper bed
They both had to start out again
But all the while he was alone
Clinging to an old church pew
Women came and lovers went
The howling wind it ripped right through
Tortured by the blues
True Love Never Dies
The sky dawns grey
The branches they sway
Your beauty it knows no bounds
Our eyes they still meet
And your lips taste sweet
The brute is running from the hounds
By rivers of blindness
My love is pure kindness
We’ll drink another cup when we meet
It’s the cutting of fences
To sharpen the senses
That linger in the fireball’s heat
So come with me quietly
Dance with me briskly
This time is for us both to share
This true love will never die
For the sky does not lie
The evil of man will be laid bare
So bang the drum slowly
And play the harp lowly
You know the song in my heart
In the turning of twilight
In the shadows of moonlight
You can show me a new place to start
No Time to Think 